My anniversary day. A day of celebrating the highlights of a nine year marriage, and after I woke up the day just started heading downhill.

I slept in and missed my vital early morning yoga and meditation session. Vital because it helps to balance me, livens up my soul for the coming day, helps me focus and reminds me to be happy and grateful.

Kalyra woke up and decided this morning would be the let’s-argue-with-mummy-and-ignore-all-she-asks-of-me. I don’t know if this is her 3 year old self or a personality trait of hers. She is so headstrong (I really do love it) which does not really go well when you are trying to get her dressed and she refuses to wear your outfit you have chosen for the cooler day and instead wants to wear that summer dress when she has a bad chesty cough. So of course she tells me to go away she’ll get dressed herself and hides in the corner of her room drawing on the floor with crayons instead.

Forget breakfast. I gave up the battle after two quarter slices of toast and took her to school where she just might go hungry for awhile. Did I feel bad? Yes, but what can you do? Sometimes when you won’t listen and learn from your elders the only way to learn is the hard way.

My walk home in the beautiful cool Autumn morning did nothing to relieve the impending guilt and sadness that started to overwhelm me. Kalyra was sad and cranky when I dropped her off, because I wouldn’t let her take her long-sleeved top off and her friend wasn’t there. I was tired and frustrated when I left.

And now all I want to do is run back to her pre-school and give her a big cuddle. Parenting is challenging as you try to balance the fine line of indulging verse preparing them for life.

The gloom overwhelmed me as I battled with publishing a long post with a slow and cumbersome internet connection. With the melancholy came those horrible thoughts of my own inadequacies and inability to make anything work. Funny how one day you are celebrating your achievements and the next you think you are just a parked car. Today I was meant to be rejoicing and all I felt like doing was crying.

It is all just an attitude reflected by your thoughts.

My tightening chest needed some air to expand it again into some form of happiness. I’d miss the opportunity so many times this morning so I opened up itunes and let the uplifting music and lyrics of Michael Franti take over my head space.

The cool tropical breeze wafted in.

He sang the words of “Hey Hey Hey,” written especially for me today.

Hey, hey, hey, no matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away
I say hey, hey, hey no matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

Thank you Michael Franti. I can’t wait to interview you next week at Bluesfest. Maybe I can express my gratitude for how you helped me in person.

Time to push the melancholy away and appreciate all I have today.