After reading a post recently written by Mum’s Word on the Return of Herself now that her baby is 18 months old and is sleeping through the night, I felt a surge of panic as to what lies ahead for my pregnant self.

I thought a 4 year gap between my eldest and youngest daughter would be great. Kalyra is a real little mother hen, so I know she will be a fantastic little helper and big sister. I’m really excited about the role an older Kalyra can play.

But… I fear that four years may have been too long a gap.

I have slightly forgotten what it is like.

Labour.… egh maybe not

Nappies... yes

Sleepless nights.…. yes yes yes!

I think I remember. There is the odd evening where I still have to get up, or a little munchkin crawls into my bed to kick me all night, and that old feeling returns.

I do slightly remember the sleep deprived haze that tends to follow you wherever you go when you become a mum. It took us two years with Kalyra to re-emerge from it. I’m not a religious person, but I pray everyday this baby will be a much better sleeper. I speak to her everyday about the joys of sleeping through the night from birth.

I try to comfort myself with the fact that I have gotten used to a life lived on little sleep. Two years before Kalyra slept through, followed by working full time and running my own blogging business, means that I can manage pretty well on little sleep. I mean, really who needs it.

I usually don’t get to bed before midnight now, and I am up at around 6am. So I am predicting that within that period of sleep I will only have to get up once during that time at the most.

Kalyra was great at getting back to sleep. We usually had a 20 minute feed and then she was back down, only to get back up again a couple of hours later. She was born a snacker and remains a snacker to this day.

New bubs can’t do that, because then I think I’m screwed.

The more I think about it the more I feel little heart flutters. Geez. It really has been too long. And it is going to be winter when the baby arrives- the howling Autumn winds will keep us company as we get to know each other more in the quiet stillness of the early mornings. There’s no better time for bonding really is there?

Okay my new little love of my life. Here’s the deal.

If you need to you can wake up for a feed in the middle of the night until you are six weeks old. And that is only if you need to. And then only once please between the hours of midnight and 6am. I can give you 30 minutes to fill yourself up but after that you have to go straight back down.

Pretty please?

I’ll be your best friend forever.