Induction
I walked tentatively through the birth suite doors, unsure of what I would find on the other side.
My sister sat beaming on the bed, traces of blood still remained around the room.
“Look at my beautiful baby boy,”
The joy was unmistakable.
“You know it was the most horrific pain I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t even care anymore. It all goes once you see your baby.”
Unexperienced in motherhood at this stage in my life, I was shocked by how calm and happy she was despite all she had just been through.
“I’ve got third degree tearing. But it doesn’t even matter.”
I gulped. “Third degree tearing? What the hell is that? ” I’d heard of third degree burns before, which co-incidentally, my sister got on her hands once from cutting chilis.
She went on to explain the intense and forceful birth she had, that was brought upon by the fact that she was induced. It was so volatile that it basically ripped her apart.
And there was planted a seed of absolute terror in me of ever being induced.
She was induced again for her second boy, and while she didn’t tear up again in that way, it was still shockingly intense.
When I fell pregnant with Kalyra, I hoped and prayed for the whole 9 months that she would not come late, as I did not want to be induced.
I was so happy when my waters broke two weeks early.
Saved.
But, then she decided that she wasn’t going to come and those doctors spoke those words I feared the most,
“We are going to have to induce you.”
“No please. Just give me one more day.”
“It’s too dangerous, we don’t want any infections to start.”
Terrified, I allowed them to put the drip in my arm at 4pm on Sept 10, a Monday afternoon.
Ugh, Getting induced
I had prepared myself physically for labour. I was fit and healthy, and mentally I was ready to take each contraction as it came and learn how to manage that pain.
The induction gave me no time to do that. The contractions pretty much started with small gaps between each for about an hour, and then they just kept rolling in, one on top of the other. My mind never had a chance to try and tell my body what to do before another one swept me up in a painful trance. It was sudden and intense and while I never had any tearing like my sister, it was full of pain.
I’ll never forget being in the place knowing that I could not go back, but had no idea how to go forward.
And so for this pregnancy, I hoped and prayed that we could do it completely natural this time. For the last three weeks I have been having small braxton hicks and lots of period pain type cramps. Excellent. My little girl was giving me time to practice for the real thing and I was convinced that she would come early.
Yesterday, she was due.
Yesterday, I had yet another scan as the doctors are concerned I am too small.
Yesterday the doctor told me,
“The circumference of your baby’s tummy is too small. This can indicate to us that your placenta is dying. It’s nothing to worry about, but we are going to have to induce you.”
Just like my sister.
Two babies, two inductions.
And just like Kalyra, it is going to happen on a Monday afternoon at 4pm.
I was ready for childbirth this time. I was ready to kick that pain out of the ball park.
And now all I can think about is the drip stuck in my arm and the heart monitor machine wrapped around my belly restricting my movements and limiting my ability to walk or move the pain away.
All I can think of is the sudden wham of those contractions that hit you from nowhwere, and just keep rolling and rolling on in.
There is no such thing as a birth plan. You can’t have one. It’s not up to you. You just gotta roll with the punches.
I’m going to come out swinging Induction.
You’ll be the one shaking in your boots when I’m done with you.
Psst. Bubs, you’ve got two days before those mean monsters forcibly eject you from my stomach. Don’t let them do that to you. Come on out now.
Have you been induced before? How did you feel about it?
Comments
kelly
i can’t say that either of my inductions were pleasant but I was so young that chidbirth frightened me terribly and I think that was a major factor in the whole experience. Then I also think my body was left more worse for wear after spontaneous labours and quicker deliveries. I dont think you should be more concerned about induction that spontaneous labour- maybe just go with the flow.
i hope it is as beautiful experience as it can be for you.
Caz
I think you just have to give up in the end and go with the flow. I don’t think it will be pleasant any way I go- although 20 minutes would be nice
Kylie
The memories are coming back. My first son was induced. It was all over in under two hours. Too fast and very intense. Best wishes Caz. I will be thinking of you. Love your blog!
Caz
Thanks Kylie! I wonder if two intense hours would be better than 25 drawn out hours!!
Nancy from Family on Bikes
I was induced with my twins but, due to the higher risk of having twins, my doctor HIGHLY recommended I get an epidural. It completely blocked the pain so I don’t have those memories at all.
What I do remember is hearing the doctor say, “This one is really floppy,” as he handed my first son to the NICU team after he was born. I remember the NICU nurse coming up to me as I lay strapped to the table and saying, “Here is your son. He’s very weak and we need to take him to NICU.”
And then I remember the doctor saying, “STOP! His heartbeat is dipping with each contraction. We’ll have to cut this one out.”
I ended up with both a natural birth and a c-section in less than an hour.
Caz
Gosh, that sounds like a dramatic birth. I think as long as bubs and mum come out the end safe and well then it’s the only thing that matters. No wonder women are so strong though having to go through all of this. Thanks for sharing your story and helpign to give me courage
MyPigeonPair
I was induced with Baby number one and it was just horrible and ended in an emergency c-section. After a ceasar I was not allowed to be induced with Baby#2 for fear I could rupture the scar. So I had to wait. A week overdue, my waters broke and after 10hours of the most amazing natural labour Baby #2 arrived! 2 very different birth experiences! There is no such thing as a birth plan! Thanks for sharing your story it was great!
Caz
I really wanted to compare a natural to induction to see how different they were. Glad you enjoyed the natural one, answers my question somewhat!
Debra Dane
I was induced with my second daughter (11 days overdue) and it took a while for the induction to kick in , but once it did the whole birth was under 2 hours from contraction to delivery and was a wonderful experience (lovely midwives, a little gas and air and no stitches even required) compared to my first baby (18 hrs, failed epidural, 3rd degree episiotomy, vacuum delivery etc). Go into it knowing it can turn out to be a wonderful experience, yet prepared for the quickness that can occur. Good luck!
Caz
Oh wow! the first baby sounds traumatic. At least i didn’t tear with Kalyra as I was super stressed about that and made sure I was listening to the mid wife when she told me to stop pushing. Fingers crossed we’ll walk that path again.
Jenna
What you said about there not being a birth plan is SO true. I tell my mom-to-be friends that all the time because I had to learn that the hard way. I had all these ideas that my labor would be “easy” — natural and that if I did everything right, it would work out fine. That was what my mom’s story and my Lamaze book led me to believe. I did do everything right, yet I had a terrible labor that was full of procedures and ended in an emergency c-section. I never would have believed it, but after that first experience, I actually scheduled a c-section with my second child (and due to the fact that he was very sick in utero and couldn’t be put through any possible trauma.) Childbirth is full of surprises, but the wonderful thing is that we get through it and know we are stronger for it. 🙂
Kelly Exeter
I just found this post and like you, I was ADAMANT that I did not want to be induced – for the fact that the pain starts and comes so fast you end up having an epidural because you have no time to work into the contractions – then you end up needing heaps of help to get the baby out and there is the whole ‘cascade of intervention’ (yada yada yada).
Well ironically – while I went into labour naturally, I had ALL of the above!! Plus an episiotomy (big baby with massive head). Which means next time I have a baby, if the ob says “whoah he’s going to be massive, let’s induce a couple weeks early” … I will be all for it!!
Caz
Looks like no matter how that baby comes out it is going to be ugly 🙂