Is it the end?
The clock ticks over to 8am.
A huge sigh of relief escapes from my entire body; hands reach down and release the weight that has been squashing me for many months.
The morning ritual two-hour-toss-and-turn wait is over as I drift in and out of alarm after alarm, thought after thought.
I hope they ring as I need the money.
I hope they don’t ring as I really need the time.
Usually the wait is in fearful dread, because I lose either way. The more painful loss is the time and the joy.
If they call me in for the money it means I’m not doing what I love.
That mind draining battle finished this morning with the clock signalling the end of the “Can you teach this class today?”
I can plan my days again. I can wake up when I want. I’ll have time for yoga, medtiation, and long walks with my babies.
Time spent doing what I love.
I’ll have time for my health, for my family, for my passion.
And now time to work on my wealth.
No more going to school to teach with no love to children who seem to have no love to learn. I don’t have to battle with thoughts about how messed up society is as I’ll just be surrounded with the world that I choose to create each day. I won’t have to suffer the anguish that comes from doing what you don’t want to do.
My maternity leave will take me to the end of the year at least. I will not leave my baby to go to back to work before then.
Photo: Felix Photographs
But, will this be the end of teaching for me for good?
Every inch of my body aches for it to be so. But, I know there ain’t no rewards that come from begging and wishing.
They come from doing.
And so now from my quiet, peaceful at-home-mummy state, I am ready to work my friggin butt off. To build on these blogs, to create ways for much needed income to flow to me doing what I love.
The clock now ticks in a different way, for the challenge to create a lifestyle based on what I love.
I am open to opportunities that enable me to do that and I am ready to create them.
Come Febuary next year, I want the answer to the question “Is this the end to job slavery?” to be a resounding
HELL YEAH!
Have you left job slavery to do what you love every day? How did you do it?
Comments
Michelle
Wow – I can totally relate to this post. I used to go through the same thing as a substitute teacher. Waking early to into the anxiety of will they, won’t they call. It took me a couple of years to realize that once I had my own child I didn’t have the need or desire to teach any more. I now run the website “sixty second parent” and I mostly do this at home. I do love it and it fits in perfectly with my life – I can still go volunteer at my daughters school to help with reading, I can schedule my week to have a balance between work and life. Sometimes it is hard working from home as you sometimes find it hard to switch off, the the benefits far outweigh the negatives. Hope you get to find something that you love and that fits in with your life.
Caz
It is hard working from home. I think it forces you to step outside more for some breaks. Now that I don’t have to worry about work taking time away from my blogging and I can make sure I have more quality time with my daughter and soon to be new daughter. I can schedule out my day better, and I’m looking forward to being able to do things like volunteer at school once Kalyra goes there.
Love your website. I noticed on your twitter profile that you are from North Carolina. We lived in Raleigh for four years and loved it! We would love to move back but just can’t get the right work visas/green card at the moment. Hoping in the future we can work something out.
Michelle
Ahhh…. that’s funny, I am Australian. Have spent a lot of time in NC but don’t live there. The company, writers, director, CEO are based in Asheville/Black Mountain NC. Long story about me managing Sixty Second Parent, but with the internet in this global world I have found out that many things are possible 🙂
Caz
Ah ha! That is funny. We stumbled upon a hole in the wall bar in Black Mountain one day. it was an interesting experience. Great part of the world
Jacquie
Caz, just wanted to say I really hope all your hard work pays off and you can spend your time doing things you want to do and really love. 🙂 Jacquie
Caz
Thanks so much Jacquie! I appreciate it and hope so too.