When Life Throws You Curve Balls
Sometimes life just throws you curve balls.
You think you know what you are doing, that the rainbows are brightly shining ahead, and you are moving mountains.
And then bam, from left field comes the ball that almost takes you out of the game.
You swing hard, but it’s too late.
STRIKE
The anger boils and you want to rant.
Rant at the companies that don’t get it.
Rant at being taking advantage of.
Rant at the lack of gratitude.
Rant at working your tail off for little reward.
Rant at being the positive, happy guy while you watch the arseholes get ahead.
Rant at the stupid DVD promising you you’ll lose five kilos a week if you sweat profusely only to have it fall from your face onto your butt.
Rant at the clutter, rant at the bills, rant at the crappy Daewoo you took as a sacrifice for your dreams.
Rant at the dream.
But what good does ranting do. It’s small and bitter and gets you nowhere.
That’s why you gotta GET IT OUT.
Your mind battles with the demons inside wanting to say,
“I told you so. Who did you think you are? You’re a fool for even thinking that you could do it.”
You read a story to your precious daughter about the importance of loving yourself. You ask her what she loves about herself. She can’t answer. How fucked up is that? She’s four and can’t tell me.
Who taught her that?
I’ll tell you what I love about you.
I list all the things that make her special, her creativity, the way she makes up dances and songs that entertain me, her loving nature, how smart she is and how much she makes my heart sing.
And then I want to cry, and tell her I’m sorry.
Photo: John Morgan
Sorry for being a fuck up and not being able to give her more. Sorry for promising and failing and just not getting it right.
The fierce spirit you need to fight life back catches me,
“How is that talk teaching her to love herself? If I can’t be kinder to me, how can she?”
Life throws you curve balls. That’s just life, it doesn’t mean anything.
It’s up to you to decide to walk away with your head dragging along the ground or to step up to the plate and START SWINGING.
There are three strikes in this game and I am not out of it.
I’m going to come back swinging HARDER and FASTER than I ever have before.
I’m going to scream, “Is that the best you’ve got, because it was piss weak.”
Go on and try it this time.
You’re allowed one curve ball, life.
That’s it.
How do you deal with life's curve balls?
Comments
katepickle
Sometimes I think having kids saved me from myself..
Not because I think I am some perfectly fabulous mother, but because my kids make me get up and try again…. and again…. and again. They stop me from giving up on me, because I can’t give up on them.
Batter up… I bet you’ll hit the next one right out of the park!
Caz
That is so true. You cannot give up on your kids and they do keep pushing you forward. We committed to doing the best for them when we decided to have children.
Veronica @ Mixed Gems
Wow! That was a full on, powerful, not going down without a fight, empowering post. I’m a believer in getting the emotions out and the working to move on. Festering doesn’t do nannying any good. Neither does wallowing. BUT I think one has to move through those stages to get on top. So good one you!
Caz
Thanks Veronica! I think you really do have to move through those stages. I think life becomes really unbearable when we hang onto our problems and feeligs. Experiencing these sorts of emotions are just a part of life, so we accept it, feel it and move on.
Lisa Wood
Hi Caz,
that is a very strong powerful statement! Hey be kind to yourself….your daughter is only 4, and maybe she is not sure what to say 🙂
I like the saying “If they knock you day, you get up stronger next time”!!
I so can see you hitting the ball and making a home run….you keep on going, because your life is worth it, and so is your daughters.
Life sometimes gives us test to make sure we really want what we are asking for….and also to help us see our goals clearer.
Love reading this one.
Cheers
Lisa
Caz
I love how you say the tests are to make our goals clearer. It certianly is and I think once you let the negative feelings pass through you are able to see just why these “setbacks” occur. It is all for a reason