The plane was just backing out from the gangway. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nicole beside me switching off her phone.

I reached down to my bag to do the same and before I could pick up the handles, I remembered.

My stomach jumped up to my chest. I looked at Craig, my mouth not really moving. Worried by the sharp words that I thought would come from his mouth, I tried to think of a way to ignore that I had been so stupid.

Needing his help, I decided to just spill the beans,

“Oh no Craig. I have left my phone charging in the terminal.”

I was shocked by his calm demeanour.

“Oh the plane is moving away, it’s too late now. You’ll have to tell the steward and see if he can call to the terminal and get them to grab it. Maybe they can send it back to us.”

No condemnation, no words of outrage, nothing.

My stomach had fallen by now into rolling queasiness as I thought of all the photos I had taken of our family cruise in Mexico, the phone numbers lost, the messages waiting for me upon my return to Oz wiped away, and of course the insurance excess.

What a stupid idiot I was.

As soon as I put the phone down to be charged, that little warning voice spoke clearly. “Be careful. You don’t want to forget it.”

I ignored it; I thought I was switched on. We went to say bye to Kate, one of the other travel writers in our group on our cruise. From there we went straight to boarding.

Always out of mind out of sight for me.

Thinking about Kate, triggered a solution in my mind and I quickly turned to Nicole.

“Do you have international roaming on your phone so I can send a text?”

“Yes, But I just put it in flight mode.”

I quickly explained to her what had happened and asked if she had Kate’s number. Kate was waiting in the terminal for another two hours for her flight to Brisbane.

“No I don’t, but I have Lindsay’s number, and we can text her and ask her to phone Kate.”

Lindsay was our wonderful host for the cruise and was spending an extra night in Los Angeles.

We texted, but did not hear anything back and it was time for Nicole to get her phone back into flight mode.

My mind kept problem solving and on a piece of paper, I write down what happened, what the phone looked like, describing the wallpaper photo of my family and what we were wearing, and Lindsay’s details.

Once the plane was in the air and at flying altitude I went to see the steward and told him my predicament.

“Do you think you could phone the Virgin terminal and ask if they could grab my phone and then give it to Lindsay when she checks in to this same flight tomorrow evening?”

“I can’t promise you, but I will see what I can do.”

His manager came to see me just before we landed in Sydney.

“I’ve filed a report, but I am not sure that we can do much. There is a lost and found section at LAX which is where it will probably end up if nobody has taken it. I’ll email you the number for the lost and found and you can see if you can track it down.

My heart sank. I know LAX too well. There is no way I’ll ever find that phone in their lost and found section. It’s to the insurance claim I go.

Being the Victor, not the Victim

On the way home on the train, the old habitual thoughts tried to poke their way through.

I began to think of the money that I would lose from insurance excess and my stomach went into knots.

The berating, the if only’s and why didn’t I, and then worst of all the “Why does this always happen to me? Why are good things happen followed by bad. Why can’t I ever get it right?”

The victim way of reacting.

My self-awareness shot through.

“Enough feeling sorry for yourself. Don’t you slip back into bad habits. What happened happened. You can’t do anything about it now, but you can choose how you respond. Just like Craig did when he responded in a calm way.”

“It’s easy to do. Could have happened to anyone,” was his response.

“Thank you for not making me feel bad. I really appreciate it.”

I began to get a grip.

Everything happens for a reason. What is the lesson in this?

Sometimes lessons arrive as a way to remind us who we really are or give us the opportunity to practice who we want to be.

I decided that  I was going to use this as an opportunity to practice who I wanted to be.

Responsible: Losing my phone was a result of me not thinking clearly. My fault, my opportunity to own it, and do better next time.

Patient and calm: understand that it will all work out in the end.

Able to cope with loss: a loss is just a loss. It is not the end of the world. Getting frustrated, upset and beating yourself up is way worse than any monetary loss.

Victor: I will not entertain the thoughts of me having bad luck, or that life is picking on me. Sometimes shit happens, get over it. The pity party does not serve and is over.

This was a huge step for me and I realized that so often the victim is my reaction. Years of training to be self-aware has now taught me to respond instead of react.

I remained calm, I accepted the loss, and was prepared to learn and move on. I phoned Optus insurance, and the pleasant operator blocked my sim and handset so no one could use it and instructed me on what to do next.

Two hours later Craig’s text message alert sounded.

“Hi, it’s Lindsay. I’ve got Caz’s phone and charger and will call you when I arrive in Sydney to organize drop off.”

WOW! Virgin must have found it and got it to her at check in.

Respond into better Outcomes

I am convinced that this happened because I allowed this experience to be an opportunity for me to practice who I really want to be.

I am over the moon with the outcome, not just because my phone is coming back, but because it shows me just how much I have changed and how empowering it is when you understand you have the power to choose how you respond.

Because I was not walking around with my bottom lip dragging the ground, my phone was returned with no loss of money.

And I received a phone call later that evening with a new 6 month contract for a writing gig. Something I decided a couple of weeks back that I was going to start doing.

I think I’m kind of glad for that loss and lesson after all.

Life is so magical when you just get yourself out of the way of yourself.