I don’t lose much. At least I don’t view losing as a loss.

I love winning. I am fiercely competitive most of the time, but usually not against other people, more against myself.

I love to improve and do better and know that I did it myself.

When I was 18 months, my mother in a frantic rush to get all three children out the door, looked around and could not find me.

I trounced out in a completely different outfit, exclaiming

“I do it myself.”

I was born with the fierceness to achieve.

You would think that losing would be a painful experience for me.

It is. But it only remains drawn out if I let it. And really what is the winning in that?

Beating myself up, limiting myself, and not believing in the power that I hold to make things better is when I really become the loser.

Losses are a part of winning. You cannot be successful in life without failing.

They go together. You know like the ying and the yang.

This post was inspired by an online discussion with a gentleman a couple of months ago on my post the biggest barrier to your success.

He was feeling a little down on himself, particularly in regards to a recent writing rejection. He saw it as a loss and a reflection of his own ability to be who he always dreamed of being.

See the danger in viewing loss as a bad thing? You end up internalizing it to mean that you are less than.

Your losses aren’t someone screaming through a megaphone,

“You are a gigantic LOSER. You failed. How can you ever be successful? Winners don’t lose, winners win. So give up now!”

No. Losses are lessons telling you, “You’re not quite ready yet. There is more you need to learn. Get back on the horse and go learn it.” (Click to tweet)

Sometimes we just haven’t earned our stripes yet.

Win by turning your losses into lessons

If you want to succeed you have to learn to deal with loss and use it as a tool for empowerment.

How can I turn this negative experience, this loss, into something positive that will benefit me?

It is often easier said than done and can take you a long time to get over yourself.

I’m still getting over a monumental mistake I made which resulted in the wiping out of my entire fortune, and nest egg.

Yep. Talk about loss.

Source: porkandjeans.com via Clarissa on Pinterest

It has been a battle to forgive myself.  I know I was completely responsible through idiotic mistakes which is a very difficult lesson to turn around.

But, I keep trying. I know the lesson is there and I know that one day I will be able to turn around and say, “I am glad it happened, because if it didn’t I would never have known this to get me to that.”

Losses tell us about new directions

Sometimes your losses are there to tell you were walking in the wrong direction.. Thank goodness for that, just picture where you may have ended up if you didn’t change paths.

Maybe, just maybe, if I didn’t lose everything, I would be investing in property and living a cruisy life, but I may have a void the size of the ocean inside of me that I can’t fill because I am not doing what I truly love.

If it meant I had to lose to win in this way than life sure is beautiful and I am happy for the lesson.

Turn your losses into lessons and you’ll never quit. You’ll never feel like you can’t make it. You’ll always feel like you are one step closer to the prize you’re fighting for.

Become a winner even when you lose.