What do you do for date nights?
Date night in Thailand
Date nights.
Remember them?
I still remember the first time with Craig. I was convinced he was not going to call me.
That night was the first time I would learn something about Craig. He’s never in much of a hurry to be on time, unless we’re on our way to a Tar Heel basketball game.
I mean a man has to have priorities.
The phone didn’t ring when it said it would and I was convinced I had met just another guy full of crap.
Until about 15 minutes later the phone rang and I lost my breath when I heard his voice asking how I was and if we were still on for tonight.
Were we ever?
We weren’t doing much. Take away Italian and some movies, but I was excited. I paced the floor, I dressed and undressed a thousand times and wondered how I was going to make the conversation exciting enough for him to want to come back for another date.
Well he did. (He never bloody left!)
Do you remember those days of breathlessness and anticipation and giddy love?
Buried underneath the laundry, the kid’s runny noses and the forgotten dreams right?
I know. I more than get it.
Craig and I were never really the extreme romantic date people. We fit together so comfortably from the first date that I guess we just slipped right into being a team.
Christmas at Vic Falls. Romantic?
And then we travelled for many many years together. Things like spending Christmas at Victoria Falls, hiking the Tiger Leaping Gorge, and gazing under starry skies with a bottle of wine seemed so every-day normal, whereas to others it would be high on the romance list.
I guess we took those special moments for granted and then they kind of stopped with children, and bills and the hard slog to make our dream life a reality.
We forgot to keep the magical moments going in the everyday world. It’s almost as if we both kind of blended into the routines, the tasks and the office chairs we sat in of a night time.
Life can really do that to you.
It slowly mutes your relationship until you can’t see the colour and vibrancy anymore.
We make time in our life for dates with friends, for hairdresser appointments, daily exercise, shopping, and cooking with the children, but we put the love relationship in the “I’m far too busy basket”
The very thing that started your home life and children in the first place.
At the beginning of this year I made strong goals to improve every aspect of my life. So far I’m doing really well.
I’m now at home working full time, I have improved my health and reached my ideal weight, and I’ve made amazing connections and created incredible opportunities. I’ve had fun with my friends and spent time with my family.
I’ve been buzzing.
But, Craig and I became lost under all of that. I don’t like having a relationship where I can’t really see the other person and I’ve forgotten what made us so great.
We’ve always gone through life together: Dreamed together, played together, laughed together and sometimes cried together.
It’s time to end the bleakness and make room in our busy days for each other. We’re talking more, laughing more, and cuddling more.
And now the date nights are coming back.
Once a month we’re scheduling time out to go on a date. We each have to take it in turns to organize it and surprise the other.
Except I’m really nervous. It’s been so long that I have no idea what to organize.
How do you make a date night special when you’ve experienced so much together in the first place?
Share your tips and ideas with me now for date nights. Let’s create a resource for all of us to use so we can take time out to treat the special people in our lives
What do you do for your date nights? How do you plan them? How do you make them special?
Do you even go on date nights anymore? Are you like me is this post inspiring you now to make the change?
Comments
Cath
Great idea – I have only been with my husband for 6 years (married for 4 & child for 3 years) and I think it’s time for a monthly one on one date night – love the organising and surprise idea as well! Thanks
Caz Makepeace
No worries Cath, Let me know how it goes and some of your ideas
jan
I have been living with the man of my dreams for over thirty years. The kids no longer impact on our available time together. We usually go to the movies and dinner for a night of romance, or go on a fishing day date. Fishing is great because we are in a boat together with loads of time. We talk more about our dreams in the boat for a day than we normally would in a week. And then there is plenty of time also to lay down (when the fish aren’t biting) and relax.
It is really important to have time out together when the kids are young, but it is a challenge to arrange. I like the idea of you both taking turns to arrange the surprise – we have never done that. I might try to introduce it!
Caz Makepeace
LOve that Jan! I love the idea of a fishing trip, although I might dish the actual fishing part as I get frustrated with it after awhile and I’m hopeless at taking the fish off the line 🙂
I love talking about your dreams- that’s what it’s all about. Living the dream together
jan
Yes Caz – the fishing part is totally optional – it is all about relaxing in the boat all day, eating, drinking (not too much alcohol though) and dreaming. And if you manage to catch a fish – that is what the men of our dreams are for – no?
Jo (Dexterous Diva)
Caz it’s SO true… when the washing and piles of nappies take over it’s so hard to remember who we are as individuals, let alone a couple. We certainly lose sight of it from time to time. Congrats on getting date nights back. I have one on Wednesday, I will rasie a glass to you 😉 xxx
Caz Makepeace
Sounds great Jo! Where are you going for your date night? It’s such an effort to get away from the role of mother, but it is really important we don’t lose ourselves- as much for our children’s sake as our own!
kirri
I’m writing this right before I am about to head out on a ‘date day!’. We rarely get to have weekends off but have it organized that at least once every three weeks, we take a day away from work and spend school hours doing something fun. Today we are hitting up a new restaurant and taking a long walk in an unexplored part of the city.
I miss the days where love and romance unfolded organically but I’m learning that if I don’t prioritize date nights/days, it just won’t happen.
PS – You looked extra Hot on your date night in Thailand!! I remember you writing one time that you werent a ‘dress girl’ – I think you are wrong xx
Caz Makepeace
Thank you Kirri!! Wish I was that young again! Your date day sounds fabulous. I love how you have made time for it in your life and doing it mid-week- GREAT idea. Putting that on the ideas list
Vanessa
I never really dated my husband – we sound pretty similar to you and Craig, just slipped easily into being a couple and forgot about everything ‘normal’, like dating. I’ve thought about date nights, but never actually done them.