The dream life isn’t perfect happiness
The glass sliding doors opened up to a a vista of waves crashing to the shore. I sat on a comfy leather couch in my luxury apartment looking out at the rising sun. I was writing my intentions out for the Universe- my dream life as I imagined it to be.
[I share about this in my upcoming eBook, Step into your Sacredness: 12 principles for creating the life your soul dreams of. Sign up here so you don’t miss it. ]
Feeling inspired I picked up my pen to write my ideal life and then stopped.
Hang on. I am living my dream life. The very words I was about to write were the ones that I was experiencing now. They were the words I wrote many years ago when intended to live this life of travel.
Huh, well whatta do you know!
So what do I write now?
I looked into the future- what do I want to be intending or working for? Again the words replied, You are living it already, why do you have to intend for another dream life? Just enjoy the moment of the one you have now.
We think we always have to be intending or dreaming or planning of the next big thing, scarcely taking the time to appreciate what we have created right now.
My next question was, Well are you happy?
You’ve created the dream life, have you reached the ultimate to be happy with it?
Well no. I’m not happy…. all the time. Some days my heart is bursting with joy and others I want to throw away the suitcase for a permanent bed.
Despite the challenges of my dream life and not always being happy, I’m at peace. (I explore this topic more deeply here)
We can never be happy all the time. Things will happen- you’ll wake up grumpy for no reason one day, the next you’ll have a sniffily nose and then 3 days later your child will throw the biggest tantrum that reminds you just how much you do NOT have a clue about anything.
We spend all our lives wishing for our dream lives, not understanding that when it arrives, we won’t necessarily be deliriously happy all the time. And so that myth causes us to miss when the dream life is here. We don’t see it because the imagined bliss of it is not eternal.
I’m not blissfully happy, the day to day grind can get me down. But, I am peaceful.
There is no more longing within me, no more counting down the months and days till I can make a change, no more hatred of the moments I spend doing something that does not fulfil me, and no more wishing I was somewhere else. Every day is a gift of peace. I get up and feel satisfied that I’m in control of how my day looks and I’m doing what I love.
That’s the dream life we should be intending to create, warts and all.
Do you believe in perfect happiness? Do you think your dream life will bring it to you?
Comments
Nicole
Love this Caz, there’s this psychologist called Shawn Achor that has this great Ted talk about this exact thing, where we put happiness on the other side of success and then continually move the goal posts so we never quite get there. It’s inspiring that you have had the courage to live your dream life and then remind yourself that you are there. I have so much and I so often forget! Nxxx
Caz Makepeace
It’s so easy to forget because our challenges never go away, as much as we like to fool ourselves that they eventually will. We’ve got to learn to tap into peace more than happiness as it’s constant! I’m making an effort in 2014 to spend more time being consciously grateful each day.
Caroline
Love this. x
Jimmy @ Footsteps of Jim
Hey Caz. I like your honesty. I love that you”re fulfilling your dream. I’m 3 months into my journey of self sustaining life of travel. So a lovely piece to read 🙂
I guess a good question might be at what point did you realise or were sure that you’re dream is continually being fulfilled? What were your life objectives?
Do you think perhaps a hint of complancy ever set in? As in you expected anything? And therefore a set new goals?
Loads of travel love x
Caz Makepeace
Basically to spend each day in complete control of how it looks. I wanted to work for myself and travel whenever and whereever I wanted. I think we are always setting new goals and complacency does tend to set in somewhere. As soon as we are aware of it, is when we make new goals. I don’t think we can ever stop striving forward, it’s evolution. So even though I love my life at the moment, and I have achieved that dream, there are still parts of it, I’m not completely satisfied with, and new areas I want to work on. Creativity keeps me moving forward with new ideas for how I can best serve and contribute. I think that’s the best way to overcome complacency!
Linda ~ Journey Jottings
Happiness is having a purpose – and valuing one’s purpose, however insignificant it may appear at face value.
Its not succeeding –
Its just having that gut feeling that whatever it is you’re doing is in some small way contributing to the master plan/vision that will take you over that next horizon, which in turn will fulfill your raison d’etre.
Caz Makepeace
Absolutely agree Linda. I just finished reading a book which talked about this. I think its the best book i’ve read on the topic- The Happiness Trap. Worth reading if you haven’t already
Pam Stucky
Nice article. Happiness, sadness, all of it, it all comes and goes, never a permanent state. We’re more than delighted that sadness dissipates, but we can get anxious when happiness slips away. You’re right, it’s important to be real in our expectations of what the dream life will bring. I’ve managed more or less to create my own dream life of sorts, but that doesn’t mean non-stop happiness.
I still remember so well the first time I read a passage from Pam Houston’s book, Waltzing the Cat. There’s a story in which a woman is in “Paradise” (it’s been a while; I think it was in the Amazon?), and her guide is telling her about all the dangers there. She comments something about how maybe this isn’t Paradise after all. The guide replies, “Is that what they tell you in America, that Paradise is a place without pain?” I remember that when I read that, it struck me so hard I had to put the book down to think about the statement. It’s stuck with me ever since. Paradise is not a place without pain. But the existence of pain and hardship doesn’t mean it’s not Paradise.
Caz Makepeace
I loved reading that Pam, thank you for sharing. so true. A book I just finished reading which you might love is The Happiness Trap. I think it should be required reading.
Pam Stucky
I will totally look that up! Thank you!