I don’t fit in – Forming connections at Blogopolis
I’ve lived such a transient life for so many years that I often feel like I don’t fit in. I have friends, but no one specific group that I hang with all the time. I tend to float from place to place, never sticking around long enough to form one group.
I attend conferences like Blogopolis and I see groups of people hanging out and I don’t really belong to any one group.
I don’t fit in and why it doesn’t bother me
I don’t want to fit in to any one group or clique.
Because it’s too limiting for my nomadic spirit.
I find myself often moving from group to group, person to person, stranger to stranger, sometimes feeling alone and like I don’t belong, but mostly enjoying the opportunity to talk to people from many walks of life.
I like meeting people, I like talking to people. I like hearing their stories and learning something new. I don’t want to stay with the one group of people all the time. Its’ not that I don’t like to develop long-lasting and deep relationships, I like and have them too, but I never want them to come at the sacrifice of me being able to walk freely among the crowd and not belong to any one small space, but to the room.
Blogopolis connections
I met some wonderful new people at Blogopolis this past weekend. I also caught up with and shared stores and laughs with old friends too and those I’ve met in passing before. These are the memories I have the most. The learnings will come in another post.
I enjoyed chatting with Dave Krupp from Nuffnang about Africa, Tim and his lovely girlfriend about their plans for travel to India. Trevor Young from PR Warrior as always shared his insightful knowledge on the blogging world.
It was great chatting with Tina Gray and learning about her family, Kat from The Organized Housewife about her extraordinary success, sharing laughs and blogging strategy with Sarah from A Beach Cottage and Nikki from Styling You. Always catching the energy buzz from Nic from Planning with Kids. Catching up with the bubbly Rachel Devine and meeting Christie from Childhood101 sweet precious baby. (How great does Christie look just quietly??)
Then there was the delicious warm hug from Denyse Whelan, seeing the sweet and lovely Jo Castro from ZigaZag Mag again and Jenny from A Taste of Travel Blog, discussing the opportunity to work with the gorgeous Dannimezza, being befriended and supported by Nicole from My Idea Life when I found myself alone at my table, having the Redundant Mother follow my thirsty tweet and bring me over a bottle of water.
Sharing the panel with Janice Wong from Chaigyaru, and Christina from Hair Romance was wonderful, both such sweet and friendly ladies. I had the pleasure of having lunch with Christina the day before and really enjoyed her company. She’s down to earth, friendly and loves to share. I was embracing my hair at the end of it and even buying hair products at Priceline!!
Learning e-book tips from Christina and Imogen Lamport from Inside Out Style over some wines. Meeting strangers in the bathroom at the beginning of the event who helped calmed my frazzled self after a crazy morning arrival. Sitting with a male fashion blogger at lunch and some lovely PR ladies. Meeting a fashion blogger from Siberia and learning about her life growing up compared to life in Oz was fascinating.
Meeting a reader, Kirsten from A pair of boots and a backpack, talking travel and life in the US and enjoying a few drinks with her and my friend Hannah De Milta, new friend, Jaclyn from Little Paper Trees and Zoey from Good Googs.What was meant to be one drink turned into a few.
And then there were a few business networking discussions here and there.
It’s sometimes good to go to these events alone and with no permanent social circle because it presents you with the chance to meet more people.
I don’t fit in to any one group and it gives me the chance to experience how many wonderful people make up this blogging space.
And for those who struggle with that I don’t fit in angst, I implore you to look at it from the perspective of how it liberates you to branch out.
Many thanks to Vibe Hotels for my stay at Vibe North Sydney! The Vibe is a fantastic place to stay in Sydney. Can’t recommend it enough.
What memorable connections have you formed with people? Are you someone who enjoys the comfort of a group of poeple you know or do you like being a floater?
Comments
PlanningQueen
I feel quite similar to this Caz. I met so many new bloggers on Saturday, all enthused and eager about their blogging journey – I really love that part of blogging conferences.
Caz Makepeace
It is so great to meet new bloggers. You are always so giving of your time to them Nic- always an inspiration to me. I loved your talk and I’m itching to get our site redesigns done now and incorporate your tips
Kelly Exeter
While I do like to have my ‘home base’ friends at any conference (you know, the ones who are a security blanket where, if you are left standing alone, you know you can go back to them!) I like not being part of any ‘group/clique’ so that I can be friends with everyone. I love the diversity in blogging and love having bloggy buddies across all genres and niches!
Caz Makepeace
The diversity is great. I’ve learned tips to improve my hair and style, take better photos, cook better food, travel to new places and just been inspired by many wonderful bloggers. I love it. Have that security blanket can also be good. I’ll have Craig for that at Problogger!
Cathy
I didn’t meet you at Blogopolis but loved hearing you speak! I published a post about feeling a little lost at Blogopolis…I did venture out and made a few new friends though which was great. Wish there had been a few more opportunities for that 🙂 You have a great way of looking at life xx
Caz Makepeace
Thanks Cathy. That’s awesome you met some new friends, it’s a great place to do it and so exciting when you do. I really enjoyed the day. Thanks for the feedback about my podcast talk- now that was nerve wracking, which was hard to manage with all the giggling happening- I swear I’m not that funny!! But I think it had something to do with farts and spoons 🙂
Catherine Rodie Blagg
I kept spotting you and really wanted to say hi but didn’t get an opportunity. I attended by myself and whist I found it a bit nerve wracking at first it made it easier to do my own thing 🙂
Caz Makepeace
I used to be painfully shy and socially awkward, I think placing myself alone in situations that forced me to get over it and find ways to talk to others, really helped me to get rid of that shyness. I still often feel self-conscious but I’m kind of relaxed about it now. And its so much easier to do your own thing when you are on your own- feels so great! I’m sorry we didn’t get to meet, I would have liked to have.
Miss Pink
I think we all get that feeling. Even those of us who don’t travel.
I love that you embrace it and that you were able to connect with so many people.
This is twice now that I’ve been too scared to say hi to you. Next time I will have to make myself.
Miss Pink
I think we all feel that way sometimes. Even those of us who aren’t aways travelling. It can be quite full on and confronting.
I am glad you had a lot of people around you who said hi. This is twoce now that I’ve been to scared to come and say hi to you. Next time I will have to make myself.
Caz Makepeace
Oh yes please do! I know how intimidating and scary it can be but I promise I am just an ordinary friendly person. I am prepping myself up already for the Problogger conference to meet Chris Guillebeau- he is legendary in the travel world. I just have to keep reminding myself that he is a normal person like me so we can connect on that level. At least Craig will be with me for that one. I think when you go to a conference, or any social gathering, it is normal to feel awkward and like all eyes are on you.
Rebel
It sounds like everyone had such a great time at Blogopolis – I will try to make it down next year. I always find conferences harder when you don’t have a “buddy” to go with but generally there are always plenty of other people who are in the same boat. Once I get past the nerves of walking in to a room alone, I am one of those people who are happy just to float around.
Caz Makepeace
It is just a nerve thing and just thoughts you put in your own head that aren’t really real. Conferences make it easy to meet people because everyone is on the same energy level and you all have something really in common to talk about
Misha
While I didn’t go to the conference, I could relate to your nomadic social style… and I agree that it is liberating and presents so many opportunities. So wonderful to read a positive spin on this kind of experience.
Caz Makepeace
Thanks Misha. I don’t really know any other way to be, which can sometimes feel a little awkward
Christina @ Hair Romance
It was so lovely to chat with you more this time, and share a panel with you too. I also like moving between groups. I guess I sit between fashion and beauty bloggers, but my passion is travel so I love meeting all the bloggers I know from twitter and online. Everyone has such a unique story and I agree that the networking is always the best part of conferences.
Caz Makepeace
It’s so inspiring to hear people’s stories. You know if you ever want to meet up and talk travel…. as long as you give me some more hair tips LOL so great to meet you Christina- you really give a lot back to people which is inspiring
Tina ~ Tina Gray {dot} Me
I agree with Kelly’s comment about having your “homies” while still meeting and chatting with everyone else. It’s always a pleasure chatting with you, Caz, however brief 🙂 Thanks so much for the link love x
Caz Makepeace
Pleasure Tina! Having the homies sprinkled about is always helpful and comforting- and fun too!
Jaclyn
It was so great to meet you!! xx
Caz Makepeace
You too Jaclyn! I love your blog- been stalking 🙂
Loulou
Hi caz,
It would have been lovely to have been there -next time you know the drill.
I “get ya” with your non need to be in a clique.
It’s actually a very poor business attic to have anyway and very limiting.
You are fine on your “own” though it is very evident hr are not alone.
Great business connections are made the way you are – so as I use a motto for me and it fits you so well:
“keep on being fabulous”
x loulou
PS:
(you’ve mentioned some pretty nice people in that round up there 🙂
Caz Makepeace
It’s a great way to do a blog roll actually! Would have been great to catch up with you Lisa. Are you going to Problogger this year? we’ve just booked our flights, although we don’t have tickets to the event yet- trusting that we’ll get the next lot on sale
kirri
Well if I was there, I would have insisted you plonk your nomadic being next to mine for a bit!
Caz Makepeace
I would have demanded that I do lovely lady! Are you going to Problogger?
Johanna
Totally relate to this, thanks Caz and yes, agree it is often easier to mix and mingle when you are ‘alone’ without a security blanket at a conference like Blogopolis.
Living the life of a global nomad, I’ve always felt as if I don’t fit in, skirting around the outsides of gatherings, cliques and groups as if peering through the window into a trendy party to which I don’t have an invite. Still happens. Stupid really, should have outgrown such introverted self consciousness at my age!
But I loved the NNB conference. It gave me the chance to connect with new people on a level playing field and with no expectations. I also loved meeting up again with fab bloggers and people (like you). People who I’ve met at previous blogging conferences cementing the relationships over time over the net.
That’s what’s so great about blog conferences. Being able to meet up with folk who have similar interests and dreams, and yet people who are from such diverse backgrounds. People who have no claim on you and no ulterior motives.
It was a party to which I felt, I did have an invite 🙂
And what a swell party it was! Look forward to catching up with you again soon.
Caz Makepeace
I love your outlook here Jo! We were all invited to the party on the weekend finally!! And there is always someone to connect with and share stories with over a glass of wine.
Hannah
This is such a great post.
I have to admit…I feel like I don’t fit in a lot of the time. In terms of blogging, I feel like I don’t have a single niche and just write about fashion, food and other random lifestyle stuff a lot. In America, that is a niche, but here it seems to be too general if you don’t have kids as well.
I didn’t make it to the conference this year but I really hope to go next year!
Caz Makepeace
I think sometimes it’s too hard to niche down your blog. We’ve not been able to with the travel blog as we blog about too many aspects of travel and because our travel style has evolved in and out of niches over the years. I say go with what feels good.
Nikki @ Styling You
LOVED catching up with you Caz and really really enjoyed meeting so many new bloggers – bloggers who I’d been talking to on Twitter and on my blog for ages and was excited to meet IRL. x
Caz Makepeace
It is cool to meet people you’ve been talking with for ages in real life. A person behind the avatars!
Mrs Woog
I always take a big deep breath when I enter these conferences, then hug strangers like a crazy woman! You get out of them what you put into them. And it was wonderful to see you, you “woman” you xx
Caz Makepeace
I had to compose myself in the bathroom for 10 minutes before entering the conference!! I think the hugs work a treat, always help to break barriers!
Veronica @ Mixed Gems
I love your thinking, Caz. I didn’t get the chance to talk with you this time but I did love you rocking your womanly green dress! 🙂 I’m an introvert and used to be more anxious in social settings too but I’ve learnt to put myself out there a bit because most other people are also a bit nervous about it. Someone has to make the first move. I must admit I do like the security of having some close friends but having most of my friends interstate and all over the world means I’m on a tiny scale a bit nomadic at heart too. Blogging had given me a new set of people I have something in common with and I love it. I look forward to getting to more blogging events and getting a chance to have a bit of a chat next time.
Caz Makepeace
Ahh I miss that green dress! I’m back to my daggy trackie dacks now 🙂 I’d love to chat more. I saw you in the distance but you were chatting away so I didn’t want to intrude. There’s always that worry at events like this as well. You feel rude going up to people when they are in conversations but some times that is the only way you can say hi!
Little Cottage Big Life
Oh I LOVE this post Caz. I needed a bit of this advice before the conference. It was my first (I am a “newbie” I found out at Blogopolis). You can read all about my embarrassing encounters with Nikki from Syling You and Mrs Woog from Woogsworld over at my blog. I def felt like I didnt fit in and was so nervous at first. But after meeting Jenny from A Taste Of Travel, I knew bloggers were fantasticly friendly people and I wasnt dissapointed 🙂
Caz Makepeace
Oh your first! Well you survived and had a great time and now you will be addicted. Feeling like you don;t fit in seems to be quite normal!
Christie-Childhood 101
I wish we had had more time to chat, I would love to hear more of your story. And you are too kind, you obviously didn’t see me at the end of the day when my eyes were hanging out of my head 😉
Caz Makepeace
You have a perfectly good reason to have buggy eyes!! You did really well speaking and having bubs with you.